Robin Williams Quotes

"God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time."
- Robin Williams

"Carpe per diem - seize the check."
- Robin Williams

"Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose."
- Robin Williams

"Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money."
- Robin Williams

"We Americans, we're a simple people . . . but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities."
- Robin Williams

"If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?"
- Robin Williams

"Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs."
- Robin Williams

"Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!"
- Robin Williams

"The only people flying to Europe will be terrorists, so it will be, "Will you be sitting in armed or unarmed?"
- Robin Williams

"The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev."
- Robin Williams

"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."
- Robin Williams

"We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have to get rid of dictators,' but he's pretty much one himself."
- Robin Williams

"When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline'? "
- Robin Williams

"You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks."
- Robin Williams